UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. -- Everyone knows that your own grandchildren are always the smartest and cutest. But not all children get the support to flourish in school, and a Penn State Cooperative Extension intergenerational specialist in offers some specific strategies for grandparents and grandchildren to work together to improve the child's performance.

"Feeling confident is an important part of mastering reading, math and other academic subjects for school success," says Andrea Bressler, extension educator in Clearfield County. "Children who are sure of themselves are less likely to give up on difficult assignments, are more willing to ask questions in class and are more likely to try again when they make a mistake.

"Unfortunately, having trouble in school causes some children to lose self-confidence. But there are strategies for helping children build their self-confidence, and grandparents may be the people in their lives with the right combination of patience, maturity and time to invest in the process. Studies show that many grandparents have the proximity and opportunity to provide support, and this can be the basis of strong personal ties that can help three generations."

Bressler offers the following suggestions:

--Encourage grandchildren to try new things. "Help them find things that they enjoy, and encourage them to take small steps toward mastering something new," she says. "If the child is taking art lessons, point out the new shapes he's learned to draw, or the colors that she's created."

--Help grandchildren to handle mistakes calmly. "Failure is a part of life, and children need to develop their skills in handling it," Bressler explains. "React calmly when your grandchild makes a mistake, focus on what can be learned from it, and help the child figure out how to do better in the future."

--Ask leading questions. "Telling children what to do is easier and faster, but it doesn't teach them how to accomplish things on their own," she explains. "Questions can help your grandchild to think about the next step or a different way to reach his goal, and you may be the closest adult with the time and patience to help him work it out at their own pace. If your grandchild wants to build a city of blocks but doesn't see how, you might ask what kinds of buildings would be in a city."

--Make sure activities are age-appropriate. "Children need opportunities to feel successful," Bressler says, "and grandparents can choose activities that are just challenging enough to teach something new, but not so difficult as to cause frustration. Take the time to know your grandchild's abilities, and start with easier activities: once she's mastered the five-piece puzzle, move up to the 20-piece."

--Don't compare your grandchildren to other children. "This is easier said than done, because children have different talents and abilities," she says. "Pay attention to how each child improves over time, and encourage them to improve their 'personal best,' rather than compete with others.

"The most important thing is to remember that children who feel sure of themselves can achieve almost anything," Bressler says. "It doesn't take a lot of time or effort to build a pattern of support and encouragement between grandparent and grandchild that shows the best aspects of intergenerational relationships."

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EDITORS: Contact Andrea Bressler at 814-765-8787 or awb1@psu.edu.

Writer/Editor: Gary Abdullah Office 814-863-2708 FAX 814-863-9877