UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. -- They've got new clothes and backpacks, and they can find the right school bus. But children returning to a new school year may need adult help facing an old problem: the school bully. A family and youth specialist in Penn State's College of Agricultural Sciences offers techniques and tips to help kids and their parents manage bullying in schools.

Even though violent acts in schools are declining, bullying remains a major issue that can affect your child's scholastic performance and social well-being, says Daniel Perkins, associate professor of family and youth resiliency. The first challenge for kids, he says, is to get adults to take it -- and them -- seriously.

"According to the U.S. Office of Juvenile Justice, bullying frequently is misunderstood by adults as an unavoidable part of growing up and, as a result, often occurs in the presence of adults who fail to do anything about it," Perkins says. "Bullying can be found in schools, neighborhoods and homes throughout the United States. It reduces students' abilities to learn, and a child who bullies also is more likely to engage in other negative behavior such as stealing and taking drugs."

Physical bullying, the most common form, includes hitting, kicking, spitting, pushing and taking personal belongings. Verbal bullying includes taunting, malicious teasing, name-calling and making threats. Psychological bullying involves spreading rumors, manipulating social relationships, and engaging in social exclusion, extortion or intimidation.

Bullying can be prevented if students, parents, teachers and school administrators are proactive, Perkins says. Strategies to prevent or stop bullying include raising awareness about bullying, improving student-to-student relations, getting parental involvement to stop intimidation, developing clear rules against bullying behavior and supporting and protecting victims of bullying.

To protect your children from bullying, you should:

--Look for Symptoms: "Since most school children won't tell you they're being bullied, often because they are afraid of reprisals, it's important that you can recognize the symptoms," Perkins says. These include unexplained reluctance to go to school; fearfulness or unusual anxiety; sleep disturbances and nightmares; vague physical complaints (headaches, stomachaches), often on school days; and belongings that are missing altogether or come home ripped.

--Ask the right questions: If you suspect your child is being bullied, don't ask them about it outright. Instead, ask your child questions about how he or she is spending lunch hour or what it's like walking to school, walking home or riding the school bus. Ask if there are any children at school who are bullies, without asking whether your child is being bullied.

--Listen and understand: If you learn your child is being bullied, stay calm and give your child plenty of time to tell you how he or she feels. Be a good listener. Make it clear it's not your child's fault.

"Don't tell a child who is being bullied just to ignore it," Perkins says. "If that were possible, the child would not be asking you for help. Don't suggest that your child simply fight back, either. That may increase your child's chances of further victimization."

You can teach your child strategies to avoid being bullied. "You can help your child avoid the situations that expose him or her to bullying," Perkins says. "If it occurs on the way to or from school, find a safe route and arrange for an older child companion.

"Encourage your child to tell you, a teacher or another adult when there's a problem. It's important for them to let someone know early, before the situation escalates. Explain the difference between tattling and telling. Tattling is when you report something just to get someone in trouble; telling is when you report that you or someone else is in danger.

"Work with the school authorities and your child's teacher to combat the bullying," he continues. "If you are not happy with a teacher's response, speak to someone else -- perhaps another teacher or the principal. Let the school authorities know about the problem and keep a written record of incidents, listing who was involved. Your child has the right to feel safe at school, so find out your school's policies on bullying."

Perkins says you may want to ask about the school's peer mediation programs or suggest changes that increase safety. But always discuss things with your child before taking action. Unilateral actions might damage your relationship with your child.

Single copies of the brochure, titled "Bullying: What Parents Can Do About It," are available free of charge by contacting your county Penn State Cooperative Extension office, or by calling the College of Agricultural Sciences Publications Distribution Center at 814-865-6713. The publication also is available on the Web at http://pubs.cas.psu.edu/freepubs/pdfs/ui368.pdf.

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EDITORS: Contact Daniel Perkins at 814-865-6988 or by e-mail at dfp102@psu.edu.

Writer/Editor: Gary Abdullah Office 814-863-2708 FAX 814-863-9877