UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. -- As the holidays approach, both younger and older people will be buying gifts for loved ones. But gift-giving doesn't have to be an inconvenience or empty ritual, says an intergenerational specialist in Penn State's College of Agricultural Sciences.

"Rather than viewing gifts as 'products,' try seeing them as ways to bring people together," says Matthew Kaplan, associate professor of intergenerational programs and aging. "In that light, the search for the perfect gift becomes a search for ways to share time and build relationships."

Gift-giving has become increasingly difficult, Kaplan explains. "Social scientists say we're busier than we used to be and more of us are living apart. Even families who live under the same roof are spending less time together. This raises concerns about family cohesion, particularly between younger and older members who need it the most.

"This separation has a profound impact on our lives," he says. "Young people are in need of guidance and nurturing. 'Going it alone' also can be difficult for elders. When older people become socially isolated, they often experience more physical and psychological stress and decline." Kaplan sees holidays as a great opportunity to bring older and younger family members together. "Choose activities that tie into what people -- whatever their age -- have in common," Kaplan says. "Successful joint activities involve mutual interests, such as eating, talking, singing, dancing and crafts. Activities that accentuate shared membership in a family or community also work well."

Kaplan suggests some gift ideas that older adults and young people can give to each other, as well as gifts they can develop together for others.

Gifts from Old to Young

• A family recipe.
• An heirloom that reflects a shared family heritage.
• A sewing, knitting or crocheting project. You each can complete segments of the overall item.
• A quilt made with a material or design that has family significance. "Patricia Polacco in the children's book, 'The Keeping Quilt,' tells the story of a quilt made from material drawn from the clothing of four generations of family members," Kaplan says.
• Hand down a hobby, such as wood carving or coin collecting.
• A puzzle you can do together.
• Gather ingredients for a joint baking/cooking session. "This one's not for the fainthearted," Kaplan says. "Upon delivering the gift, you may be confronted with that baffled, disappointed, 'Huh, what's the big idea?' kind of look."
• A model kit. "Choose a level of difficulty that will stretch your recipient's problem-solving abilities," Kaplan suggests.
• Seeds for a garden to work in together.
• A family album.

Gifts from Young to Old

• Supplies to make a book about family history or identity. "You might include newspaper clippings, photos and stories that you write together," Kaplan says.
• An oral history or biography booklet based on an interview conducted with the adult.
• A computer game. "This is ideal for the computer-shy adult," Kaplan says. "But make sure you are around to help install the game and review the instructions."

Joint Giving and Co-producing

• Make a presentation, sing a song, or play instruments together at a nursing home, a children's ward at a hospital, or as part of a community event.
• Cook and deliver a meal to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
• Join a community service project. "You might help rebuild a park, deliver meals to the homebound, or paint over graffiti," Kaplan says.

"The essence of the great gift is that it helps us locate the 'we' not the 'me,'" Kaplan says. "Let's use this holiday season as a time to journey beyond our private worlds and feel -- and be -- closer to our loved ones."

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EDITORS: Matthew Kaplan can be reached at 814-863-7871.

Contacts: Kim Dionis KDionis@psu.edu 814-863-2703 814-865-1068 fax